On Being Dissatisfied

Last week I had this gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction with my life. That made me feel bad because I'm usually pretty happy with what I do. I'm so grateful and thankful to be a stay-at-home mom right now. This is what I wanted to do! This is what I prayed for even before we started trying to have kids! But sometimes I think looking around at other people and other moms too much leads me to think I should have something else. I should be a good stay-at-home mom and a successful "_______". Fill in the blank with whatever...small business owner. Illustrator. Blogger. Ministry volunteer. Just something else. And maybe I want to be recognized for that something else?

I opened up and told my husband about these feelings and how I didn't like them. We prayed about it together and the next night I picked up The Human Right reader, a newspaper-like pamphlet, that I had brought home from the last service of the Assemblies of God Centennial Celebration. I started reading the section titled, "Abandon", and at the end of the first page it said this: "We must be content with whatever level of influence He gives us. it may look different in your life than it does anywhere else. That's okay. Regardless of where His voice takes you, there is a conversation happening right now in Heaven and your name is part of it. God is summoning us and the next generation to hear His Spirit speak." Wow! What a good thing for my restless heart to hear. For more info on The Human Right, click here.

Then the next night, I read Alicia Britt Chole's blog. She's been doing a series called Seven Woes For This Generation, and this one was, "Woe to us when we crave fame. Do we possess the strength to be nothing?" She goes on to say, "We daydream of greatness and call it being visionary. We long to be publicly affirmed in the superlative and call it God’s favor. We boast of opportunities and call it faith." I love that she asks if we have the strength to be nothing. What a concept! To read her blog post, click here.

God patiently reminds me again and again that I need to focus on Him instead of looking around me and comparing myself to others. As Sara Groves sings in her song "This Journey Is My Own", I need to "live and...breathe for an audience of one".