Last week I had this gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction with my life. That made me feel bad because I'm usually pretty happy with what I do. I'm so grateful and thankful to be a stay-at-home mom right now. This is what I wanted to do! This is what I prayed for even before we started trying to have kids! But sometimes I think looking around at other people and other moms too much leads me to think I should have something else. I should be a good stay-at-home mom and a successful "_______". Fill in the blank with whatever...small business owner. Illustrator. Blogger. Ministry volunteer. Just something else. And maybe I want to be recognized for that something else?
I opened up and told my husband about these feelings and how I didn't like them. We prayed about it together and the next night I picked up The Human Right reader, a newspaper-like pamphlet, that I had brought home from the last service of the Assemblies of God Centennial Celebration. I started reading the section titled, "Abandon", and at the end of the first page it said this: "We must be content with whatever level of influence He gives us. it may look different in your life than it does anywhere else. That's okay. Regardless of where His voice takes you, there is a conversation happening right now in Heaven and your name is part of it. God is summoning us and the next generation to hear His Spirit speak." Wow! What a good thing for my restless heart to hear. For more info on The Human Right, click here.
Then the next night, I read Alicia Britt Chole's blog. She's been doing a series called Seven Woes For This Generation, and this one was, "Woe to us when we crave fame. Do we possess the strength to be nothing?" She goes on to say, "We daydream of greatness and call it being visionary. We long to be publicly affirmed in the superlative and call it God’s favor. We boast of opportunities and call it faith." I love that she asks if we have the strength to be nothing. What a concept! To read her blog post, click here.
God patiently reminds me again and again that I need to focus on Him instead of looking around me and comparing myself to others. As Sara Groves sings in her song "This Journey Is My Own", I need to "live and...breathe for an audience of one".
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
When Life Hands You Balloons
Last Saturday we went to a park to have our pictures taken by my brother-in-law. I wanted to get some photos of the three of us as a family (since we haven't done that yet, *ahem*) and some of Avery. The day before, I had planned to go get a single helium balloon for Avery's pictures. The only place I know of to get helium balloons (the regular kind, not the foil kind) is on the other side of town and well, it didn't work out for me to go get one. Then that evening Josh was going to go get one and that didn't work out either as he had to worry about getting his hair cut and there just wasn't time. Oh, and did I mention that during this time we're juggling one car because our other vehicle decided to have issues again? Yeeeeah. We decided that if we had time in the morning, we'd go buy a balloon before getting our pictures taken.
Needless to say, we did not have time in the morning. After leaving later than intended, Josh asked if we still wanted to stop and get a balloon. "Uhhh, no." I said. "We're already running late!" I had been feeling frustrated that we didn't have time to get a balloon for Avery's pictures. And normally when I feel that way about something that is out of my control, I look around for someone else to blame to alleviate my frustration. I stew. I sulk. But in that moment, I decided not to let my normal reaction take over. I didn't want to make my family miserable right before family pictures! So I said laughingly, "Maybe there will be a man selling balloons at the park!" Josh laughed with me at the ridiculousness of that thought. But it made me feel better and, hey! It could happen, right?
We met my brother-in-law in the parking lot of the park and as we're walking away from our cars, we pass a young family with a baby getting ready to leave. And with them they are carrying a big bunch of...you guessed it...balloons! I think as they passed by, I said to my brother-in-law, "Ohhh! I meant to go get a balloon for Avery's pictures and I didn't have a chance!" I looked wistfully after them and thought, "Do I dare go beg them for one of their balloons?" Josh was on the same wavelength as I was and said, "Why don't you just go ask them for a balloon?" I looked towards them, trying to work up the nerve to go ask, and I see that they're looking back at us. So we started walking towards each other and the young woman said, "Would you like our balloons? I overheard you say you wanted some." My hand flew to my heart and I said, "Yes, thank you! I meant to get some yesterday and didn't have time! Thank you so much!" I walked back to my family with the balloons in hand. I couldn't believe it! Avery loved the balloons and I think we'll have some good pictures of her with them...not to mention a good story to tell when we look back years from now.
So to the dear, sweet family in the park that gave us your balloons: Thank you! This mama was feeling bad that she didn't have a chance to get a single balloon for her daughter's photos. You helped make our pictures and our day! And thank you, God...I'm sure you had a part in that, too!
Needless to say, we did not have time in the morning. After leaving later than intended, Josh asked if we still wanted to stop and get a balloon. "Uhhh, no." I said. "We're already running late!" I had been feeling frustrated that we didn't have time to get a balloon for Avery's pictures. And normally when I feel that way about something that is out of my control, I look around for someone else to blame to alleviate my frustration. I stew. I sulk. But in that moment, I decided not to let my normal reaction take over. I didn't want to make my family miserable right before family pictures! So I said laughingly, "Maybe there will be a man selling balloons at the park!" Josh laughed with me at the ridiculousness of that thought. But it made me feel better and, hey! It could happen, right?
We met my brother-in-law in the parking lot of the park and as we're walking away from our cars, we pass a young family with a baby getting ready to leave. And with them they are carrying a big bunch of...you guessed it...balloons! I think as they passed by, I said to my brother-in-law, "Ohhh! I meant to go get a balloon for Avery's pictures and I didn't have a chance!" I looked wistfully after them and thought, "Do I dare go beg them for one of their balloons?" Josh was on the same wavelength as I was and said, "Why don't you just go ask them for a balloon?" I looked towards them, trying to work up the nerve to go ask, and I see that they're looking back at us. So we started walking towards each other and the young woman said, "Would you like our balloons? I overheard you say you wanted some." My hand flew to my heart and I said, "Yes, thank you! I meant to get some yesterday and didn't have time! Thank you so much!" I walked back to my family with the balloons in hand. I couldn't believe it! Avery loved the balloons and I think we'll have some good pictures of her with them...not to mention a good story to tell when we look back years from now.
So to the dear, sweet family in the park that gave us your balloons: Thank you! This mama was feeling bad that she didn't have a chance to get a single balloon for her daughter's photos. You helped make our pictures and our day! And thank you, God...I'm sure you had a part in that, too!
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